Still funkin'....

And tired of it. I know I am in this ridiculous funk, I know the reasons for why I'm in it; yet I can't pull out of it. Its a process. Time will heal all wounds. Things will get better. Yea, I can say that over and over but its not helping. I know that I am strong, because I fully acknowledge that I could pull into my shell, retreat to never come out again. I will keep trying, but damn it, I'm tired of feeling like every turn is the wrong turn. Clearly I am still not letting God have control enough yet; if I could just see clearly what it is I'm still holding onto. Oh, wait--I do know the answer to that, don't I. I do not believe I am using circumstances as excuses, because that would then negate the whole watching for and seeing signs. I have to believe, or rather, I *want* to believe, these roadblocks are there for reasons, and that at some point that light will shine at the end of the tunnel.